[The next response comes far more quickly than the first, now that Gale is presumably a little less shell-shocked by the whole thing, and irritated enough that the other details of that shared moment aren't nagging at him quite so intently.]
Astarion,
I hardly expect you to sugarcoat such a thing, but have you never heard of softening the blow?! It's not exactly something one expects to be told! I wasn't worried about my neck before, mind you, though your choice of words has me wondering if I should have been! Here I thought we'd almost shared a moment. I see I was terribly mistaken!
If I did not know any better, I would believe that your disappointment stemmed from wanting to be bitten. But surely Gale of Waterdeep does not harbor a secret desire to be a vampire's plaything?
[ he's playing it up to make him blush. you know how it is. ]
If you did, then it truly would be a pity that your taste is so unbearable. Otherwise, imagine the nightly cross-armada trysts! It could be the sort of thing that they write tales about for years to come.
Sexual tales, in case that was not already obvious.
[ Instead of delivering the next letter, Astarion simply knocks on Gale's door. When he opens the door, he will find Astarion leaning on the door frame. Suggestively. Holding Gale's last letter in his hand. ]
Enlighten me, Gale. What did you believe about it?
[For a moment, he freezes in place when he hears the knock at the door, looking up from his reading as though he's been caught somewhere he's not supposed to be, despite the fact that it's his room.
Even without answering, he has an idea as to who it must be. Damn it, he'd clearly said too much, letting Astarion get under his skin as he had. Even with that in mind, he's not quite prepared for the way Astarion is leaning against the frame when he answers the door, a familiar bit of parchment in hand.]
I—
[It's not often Gale of Waterdeep is left speechless, but after a moment of looking startled, he settles for scowling.]
Well, it hardly matters now, does it? It's behind us.
[ Astarion lets himself into Gale's room because he can, because with the ghoul moon gone he's no longer having to ask for invitations. ]
Or do you really want to just let it go and dwell on it while we are on completely different ships out at sea? I'm here now and you have the opportunity to do something about it. I would hate to leave you...frustrated.
[Well that's— something. He wants to protest as Astarion crosses the threshold, but he already knows there's no use. He sighs, making a half-hearted gesture towards the room proper with one hand as he closes the door. Wearily:]
By all means, come in.
[Of course he would ramble and say too much even in note form. He huffs softly, folding his arms across his chest.]
It was all the influence of the Ghoul Moon, yes? [Maybe not all. The biting, certainly, and for Gale's part, some champagne had been involved, but that couldn't be all it was, or else he wouldn't be feeling out of sorts now.] I can't possible seem the pining sort to you.
[He makes a sound somewhere between a scoff and an indignant snort. Alright, maybe he does have pining priors, but this— this is different, this was not... that.]
I'll admit, I did not use my better judgment in writing that. I was— perplexed.
[Gale "Smooth Enough For Two" Dekarios, knocking it out of the park.]
We shared a bit more than a bite, as you'll recall. I haven't been that close to someone in quite some time.
[He'd already felt vulnerable, given the subject at hand, but the sweep of Astarion's gaze makes him feel even moreso.
His arms pull just a bit tighter across his chest, as though that will help.]
It was...
[It's not often that words do fail him. He usually has them in abundance, but of course when he would most like to be eloquent, he stumbles. Naturally, that would be the way of it.]
[Soft and gentle, perhaps, but Gale senses sharp cunning behind them, as with most things Astarion does. Still... he supposes it's a fair question. Curiosity, he imagines. He's only ever spoken of one partner to his companions— though for more years than he can count, she had been the only partner that mattered to him.]
It may surprise you to hear that yes, I have.
[He can't help sounding a little defensive, but his shoulders drop slightly as he forces himself to soften.]
More than one, though it has been quite some time, admittedly.
[ Astarion isn't sure how he feels about that answer. Because if was one thing if the enlightening experience was that he had learned maybe he was a little bit bi. But it was something else entirely--something dangerous, something terrifying--if what Gale had learned was that he wanted Astarion.
Of course Astarion knows people want him for his body. But he gets the sense this isn't that at all. Gale has been ignoring his advances the entire time he knew him. ]
Good for you! I would hate to hear that your life experience was lacking.
[If it were only about the physical aspect, there had been no shortage of opportunities— Astarion had been a flirt since day one, and while Gale had dismissed his advances, it would have been a lie to say he hadn't noticed how attractive his friend just happened to be. His mind had been on other things— and admittedly, he's never been a physical first sort of fellow, something that he knew they differed on greatly.
Astarion's response might be some sort of deflection, but it brings some much-needed levity to the moment. Gale can't help but be grateful for that.]
I feel my experiences have served to make me a rather well-rounded individual, thank you very much, though if you were hoping to have been the one to lead me to that particular discovery, I'm sorry to disappoint. I've always been an... open-minded sort, in that regard.
[Which means the 'enlightenment' was definitely about something more personal.]
Oh don't worry, darling, I'm sure there is still plenty I could teach you.
[ like sure he's not a goddess of magic but he's very very good at sex.
And anyways it's better than the implication hanging between them. He should address that. Make it clear where they stand. But Gale already knew he was fucking around, right? So why should he have to state the obvious?
He may have played himself by coming here. ]
It's going to be strange, working on separate sides.
[Astarion has a couple of centuries on him, for starters. The smile he'd begun to let creep across his face vanishes almost as quickly as it had appeared, his expression somber.
He's thought the same thing, even before last night's... efforts.]
It certainly will be. You've had some time here without me already, but... I've become accustomed to traveling in your company. Of course, there's no rule saying we can't collaborate from time-to-time.
[Right. He clears his throat softly, a touch uncertain.]
There is that, yes. I— wouldn't want to intrude.
[He doesn't know the extensive details of Astarion's personal life, but he's made his business with Xenk very clear, and Xenk himself has spoken of a certain level of devotion that makes Gale hesitant to tread on toes— not to mention his own feelings on such matters.
[ Astarion laughs as if the suggestion is ridiculous. ]
Do you think he -- that we -- no, no it's not like that at all.
[ Besides, Astarion had whatever he had with...
Tav.
It occurs to him for the first time that there might be consequences to his actions. (Amazing, I know.) That the strength of the intimacy he'd shared with people like Xenk and Fenris wasn't something that began and ended with him, but might be something that would effect Tav. That Gale says he doesn't want to intrude is just a mere hint of what might be said, if Tav knew. Of course they'd kept whatever they had open but...
Was it wrong? What he was doing? Could he hurt someone this way?
That thought is immediately shut down. No. Absolutely not. And if anyone got hurt because they fucked around with him, then they were simply finding out. He'd been very honest about the fact he would end up hurting everyone in his life, anyway. He'd been honest about his past. About his circumstance. About the way he'd used sex. And sure he technically hadn't fessed up to Tav that he was just using them, but that's all it had been.
How it had started.
Still was, wasn't it?
Well, it hardly mattered now. He'd known Xenk longer than he'd known Tav anyway.
So, that was that.
Yes, this is flawless logic. Wow! He is so smart when it comes to sex! ]
I told you before, he's fun. But he's hardly beholden to me, or I to him. Can you imagine? Me? Tied down? Perish the thought.
[Once more, he sounds a bit defensive. It's difficult not to when the person you're speaking to repeatedly laughs at what you say, though he certainly sees Astarion's point.
No, he doesn't see Astarion tying himself down to anyone, though that doesn't mean other parties can't be hurt in the process.]
These things can be very complex. I hardly know the details of your relationship, aside from the one part you've both made painfully clear. Even if it's 'just fun,' I...
[He huffs softly, annoyed that his words won't come as easily as he'd like. He never has this trouble in any other situation.]
[But this isn't really about Xenk, aside from the fact that Gale wants to take care not to cross certain boundaries. That includes Astarion's— and given how greatly their perspectives differ in this area, he ought to proceed with caution.
For the best, really, that he doesn't seem quite so able to ramble now as he usually is.]
You're my friend, as well. I— wouldn't want to ruin that. [Even as he says so, he looks conflicted, disappointed. He's never been good at masking his emotions. Never much been one for trying to do so.] I suppose that does settle things.
[ there's a teasing note to it like Gale has just fessed up to something he shouldn't have, but that's mostly because Astarion is bad with feelings and is actually kind of touched to hear Gale say it so plainly. Friends...he's never really had any of those. It's nice. ]
Sex isn't going to ruin anything. But we're clearly speaking to cross purposes. Your concern is that you want something more than that.
[ it's plain to him to see, really. Sometimes the people he'd seduced for Cazador wanted sex, but a lot of them wanted more than that. They wanted emotions and kindness and someone to care about them. They'd wanted the way he said their names like it was all that mattered.
And sure, he could pretend for Gale. But it wouldn't be real. ]
I don't think I can give you what you're looking for. Not honestly, and after everything you deserve more than that.
[ His words surprise him a little as he says them. Normally he would simply argue no one deserves his honesty or anything else from him. But perhaps he had come to care for Gale more than he realized. ]
[Teasing though Astarion may be, there's a somber note in Gale's own voice— friends was not such a bad thing to be, given all they've been through, though to be 'friends' with him the way Xenk seems to...
Does he even have that in him? He's never done it before. More than that, he knows himself. Knows that jealousy might very well rear its ugly head despite his best efforts.]
I don't have the right to ask you for more than you're willing to offer.
[Astarion, too, has been through more than his fair share.]
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Astarion,
I hardly expect you to sugarcoat such a thing, but have you never heard of softening the blow?! It's not exactly something one expects to be told! I wasn't worried about my neck before, mind you, though your choice of words has me wondering if I should have been! Here I thought we'd almost shared a moment. I see I was terribly mistaken!
Equal Parts Disappointed and Injured,
Gale
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If I did not know any better, I would believe that your disappointment stemmed from wanting to be bitten. But surely Gale of Waterdeep does not harbor a secret desire to be a vampire's plaything?
[ he's playing it up to make him blush. you know how it is. ]
If you did, then it truly would be a pity that your taste is so unbearable. Otherwise, imagine the nightly cross-armada trysts! It could be the sort of thing that they write tales about for years to come.
Sexual tales, in case that was not already obvious.
Imagining What Might Have Been,
Astarion
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To his credit, it's working.]
Astarion,
I said no such thing, and certainly did not imply wishing to be anyone's "plaything."
Forgive me for mistaking the evening for more than it might have been.
Stop Imagining This Instant,
Gale
[Admittedly, this is getting ridiculous, not to mention terribly petty.]
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Enlighten me, Gale. What did you believe about it?
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Even without answering, he has an idea as to who it must be. Damn it, he'd clearly said too much, letting Astarion get under his skin as he had. Even with that in mind, he's not quite prepared for the way Astarion is leaning against the frame when he answers the door, a familiar bit of parchment in hand.]
I—
[It's not often Gale of Waterdeep is left speechless, but after a moment of looking startled, he settles for scowling.]
Well, it hardly matters now, does it? It's behind us.
[It is very much not, he knows.]
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[ Astarion lets himself into Gale's room because he can, because with the ghoul moon gone he's no longer having to ask for invitations. ]
Or do you really want to just let it go and dwell on it while we are on completely different ships out at sea? I'm here now and you have the opportunity to do something about it. I would hate to leave you...frustrated.
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By all means, come in.
[Of course he would ramble and say too much even in note form. He huffs softly, folding his arms across his chest.]
It was all the influence of the Ghoul Moon, yes? [Maybe not all. The biting, certainly, and for Gale's part, some champagne had been involved, but that couldn't be all it was, or else he wouldn't be feeling out of sorts now.] I can't possible seem the pining sort to you.
[He is 100% the pining sort. See: Mystra.]
There's no need to complicate things.
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Oh, you meant that seriously?
[ I mean of course he knows he did but of course he's going to call attention to it. ]
What's your excuse for the letter, then? Let's hear it. I'm sure it'll be just as hilarious.
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I'll admit, I did not use my better judgment in writing that. I was— perplexed.
[Gale "Smooth Enough For Two" Dekarios, knocking it out of the park.]
We shared a bit more than a bite, as you'll recall. I haven't been that close to someone in quite some time.
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[ he lets his eyes sweep over Gale, sizing him up. Enjoying the sight of him. Undressing him a little with his eyes? Maybe. ]
Don't let your words fail you now. What did you think about it?
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His arms pull just a bit tighter across his chest, as though that will help.]
It was...
[It's not often that words do fail him. He usually has them in abundance, but of course when he would most like to be eloquent, he stumbles. Naturally, that would be the way of it.]
Enlightening, shall we say. Or seemed so to me.
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Have you ever been with a man before, Gale?
[ there's no judgment, it's more that he assumes that Gale has only ever been with Mystra. ]
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It may surprise you to hear that yes, I have.
[He can't help sounding a little defensive, but his shoulders drop slightly as he forces himself to soften.]
More than one, though it has been quite some time, admittedly.
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Of course Astarion knows people want him for his body. But he gets the sense this isn't that at all. Gale has been ignoring his advances the entire time he knew him. ]
Good for you! I would hate to hear that your life experience was lacking.
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Astarion's response might be some sort of deflection, but it brings some much-needed levity to the moment. Gale can't help but be grateful for that.]
I feel my experiences have served to make me a rather well-rounded individual, thank you very much, though if you were hoping to have been the one to lead me to that particular discovery, I'm sorry to disappoint. I've always been an... open-minded sort, in that regard.
[Which means the 'enlightenment' was definitely about something more personal.]
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[ like sure he's not a goddess of magic but he's very very good at sex.
And anyways it's better than the implication hanging between them. He should address that. Make it clear where they stand. But Gale already knew he was fucking around, right? So why should he have to state the obvious?
He may have played himself by coming here. ]
It's going to be strange, working on separate sides.
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I've no doubt there is.
[Astarion has a couple of centuries on him, for starters. The smile he'd begun to let creep across his face vanishes almost as quickly as it had appeared, his expression somber.
He's thought the same thing, even before last night's... efforts.]
It certainly will be. You've had some time here without me already, but... I've become accustomed to traveling in your company. Of course, there's no rule saying we can't collaborate from time-to-time.
[Or... fraternize, if they so choose.]
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Collaborate, if you will.
[ he's gotta make it sexual. ]
Even still, I had almost gotten used to the sound of your obnoxiously loud snoring before I was brought here.
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There is that, yes. I— wouldn't want to intrude.
[He doesn't know the extensive details of Astarion's personal life, but he's made his business with Xenk very clear, and Xenk himself has spoken of a certain level of devotion that makes Gale hesitant to tread on toes— not to mention his own feelings on such matters.
Wait a moment—]
I didn't think I snored that loudly!
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[ Astarion laughs as if the suggestion is ridiculous. ]
Do you think he -- that we -- no, no it's not like that at all.
[ Besides, Astarion had whatever he had with...
Tav.
It occurs to him for the first time that there might be consequences to his actions. (Amazing, I know.) That the strength of the intimacy he'd shared with people like Xenk and Fenris wasn't something that began and ended with him, but might be something that would effect Tav. That Gale says he doesn't want to intrude is just a mere hint of what might be said, if Tav knew. Of course they'd kept whatever they had open but...
Was it wrong? What he was doing? Could he hurt someone this way?
That thought is immediately shut down. No. Absolutely not. And if anyone got hurt because they fucked around with him, then they were simply finding out. He'd been very honest about the fact he would end up hurting everyone in his life, anyway. He'd been honest about his past. About his circumstance. About the way he'd used sex. And sure he technically hadn't fessed up to Tav that he was just using them, but that's all it had been.
How it had started.
Still was, wasn't it?
Well, it hardly mattered now. He'd known Xenk longer than he'd known Tav anyway.
So, that was that.
Yes, this is flawless logic. Wow! He is so smart when it comes to sex! ]
I told you before, he's fun. But he's hardly beholden to me, or I to him. Can you imagine? Me? Tied down? Perish the thought.
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[Once more, he sounds a bit defensive. It's difficult not to when the person you're speaking to repeatedly laughs at what you say, though he certainly sees Astarion's point.
No, he doesn't see Astarion tying himself down to anyone, though that doesn't mean other parties can't be hurt in the process.]
These things can be very complex. I hardly know the details of your relationship, aside from the one part you've both made painfully clear. Even if it's 'just fun,' I...
[He huffs softly, annoyed that his words won't come as easily as he'd like. He never has this trouble in any other situation.]
I've never been a 'just fun' sort of person.
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[ He's more still, quieter now, like he's being more serious. He doesn't want to be misunderstood with this.
As to the rest, he shrugs and takes a step back. He'd been close to tease him a bit but he knows when to back off. ]
Then that settles that, doesn't it?
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[But this isn't really about Xenk, aside from the fact that Gale wants to take care not to cross certain boundaries. That includes Astarion's— and given how greatly their perspectives differ in this area, he ought to proceed with caution.
For the best, really, that he doesn't seem quite so able to ramble now as he usually is.]
You're my friend, as well. I— wouldn't want to ruin that. [Even as he says so, he looks conflicted, disappointed. He's never been good at masking his emotions. Never much been one for trying to do so.] I suppose that does settle things.
[But it doesn't feel settled. He frowns.]
Perhaps we're both disappointed.
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[ there's a teasing note to it like Gale has just fessed up to something he shouldn't have, but that's mostly because Astarion is bad with feelings and is actually kind of touched to hear Gale say it so plainly. Friends...he's never really had any of those. It's nice. ]
Sex isn't going to ruin anything. But we're clearly speaking to cross purposes. Your concern is that you want something more than that.
[ it's plain to him to see, really. Sometimes the people he'd seduced for Cazador wanted sex, but a lot of them wanted more than that. They wanted emotions and kindness and someone to care about them. They'd wanted the way he said their names like it was all that mattered.
And sure, he could pretend for Gale. But it wouldn't be real. ]
I don't think I can give you what you're looking for. Not honestly, and after everything you deserve more than that.
[ His words surprise him a little as he says them. Normally he would simply argue no one deserves his honesty or anything else from him. But perhaps he had come to care for Gale more than he realized. ]
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[Teasing though Astarion may be, there's a somber note in Gale's own voice— friends was not such a bad thing to be, given all they've been through, though to be 'friends' with him the way Xenk seems to...
Does he even have that in him? He's never done it before. More than that, he knows himself. Knows that jealousy might very well rear its ugly head despite his best efforts.]
I don't have the right to ask you for more than you're willing to offer.
[Astarion, too, has been through more than his fair share.]
But it does seem a terrible shame, doesn't it?
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wrapping this one up for us! 💖